Fable Lost Chapters, a Sycthey adventure

My sweet audience, some of you may remember that I mentioned Fable TLC in an earlier post about playing certain video games when bored. I briefly mentioned some of the "dickable" activities in Fable which make it an excellent game to relieve boredom. However, I'm not satisfied with that shout-out. No, no Fable TLC needs more than that, as does Skies of Arcadia Legends. So here in honour (just for you Maleficus) of Lionhead's best RPG is the Fable TLC post.

You'll find out who Maleficus is very shortly audience. Also there is some music at the bottom of the page. Yeah, way way down there. Keep going.

This is him. With a few adjustments ahem.

Bullets of beautiful info about Fable TLC:

• You are a boy. Not a single if, and, or but from you audience
• Almost immediately you are torn from your family and forced into the Guild of Heroes. Heroes' Guild for short
• The world of Albian is your terrain and is full of drunk idiots ordering beers with "umbrellars" in them
• Hero does not necessarily mean virtuous *wink*
• There are many NPCs you will hate, namely Thunder
• There are two NPCs you will love, namely Scythe
• The villain is magical and scary as fuck. I love Jack for that.
• This is the game that taught me how to do a poor British accent. Heh.
• You can be a whore if you so wish
• You can be a demon with horns and glowing eyes if you so wish
• You can be a chicken-man if you so wish
• You can be an angel with a halo and face tattoos with perfect blonde hair and perfect scars.Cough.
• You can be whatever you want if you so wish.

Where to begin? Perhaps with the beginning? As you know audience spoilers are to follow BUT not major plot ruining ones. Seriously, I want you to play this game. Why would I do that?

Awaken in Oakvale, a small port-side town busy with NPCs who all happen to know that it is your older sister's birthday. All of them know it, even the new merchant. Everyone except you. Basically you start off as a lazy little boy who forgets his own sister's birthday and waits around for adventure to find him. Rather classic eh?

Anyhow, you begin by doing "deeds" around the town in order to earn enough gold (3 pieces in fact) to buy a box of chocolates for your sister as a birthday present. The deeds are your first steps in the game both controller wise and alignment wise. Alignment is rather big in Fable, we will divulge into that more later. Basically though it is your morality, your amount of good and/or evil. So, you can from the start be all evil, all good, or a nice mix. It's your choice. Personally I enjoy being a total bad boy now and then. Smashing boxes is fun. Sides, "are you just gonna stand there like a lemon?"

Fast-forward past a night of horrible events to the Heroes' Guild. Here is where you really learn how to kick ass or chew bubble gum. Oops, wrong game. Heh, so at the guild you train with at first a stick (lame) then a sword, then a bow, then with plasma lightning that shoots from your finger tips while slowly corrupting your body turning you into a mutated freak who climbs walls and scares the shit out of 18 year old MareBears! Oops, wrong game again. Well sorta. You do in fact train with lightning or will or magic; it happens that cast lightning is your first spell. Still, beware the corruption. Or don't. Being an overpowered mage is awesome.

My overpowered Hero

Ah yes, what kind of hero will you be? Well there are nearly limitless combos. You could just go all out in one skill tree, meaning a maxed out warrior, mage, or marksman. However, that's lame and you'll look weird as all fuck at the end. See, depending on your skill tree you can look like a jacked out glowing giant (which is how I typically go) or a stubby shrimp with trunks for limbs. Or a skinny glowing twig. Or a lanky pillar the width of a pencil. OR a million other things. If you mix your skill tree you can become any kind of hero combination. If you max everything out (which is fun to do) you will look like Maleficus, in other words a jacked out glowing giant with beautiful blond locks. Oh yeah, your "other looks".

Tattoos, hairstyle, facial hair, and hair colour all fall under "other looks" as a category. Some are found in chests, others are only available at specific shops, some are stolen from people's homes. Yes, you can steal hairstyles from residences. How? Why with style cards of course! Fable TLC made it easy to customize your hero's outward appearance with the use of cards. Basically a style is written onto a card and once you collect it, you can have it applied as many times as you want. So if you like a tattoo you own or just want to try it out, you can at any tattoo parlour or with any travelling tattoo artist. It's rather nifty. Unfortunately the colour of your tattoos depends on the card, you cannot change them. Same goes for hair colour.

Quick Tip: If you own the PC version of Fable TLC you are able to design your own tattoos. Unfortunately I'm not that talented of an artist.

Hair colour is not something you can easily mess with. Ok if you know the game then yes, it is easy to change. However, for you curious newbies out there it might be more difficult since hair colour is dependent on your morality alignment. Remember how I said I'd tell you more bout alignment later? Well now is later.

Everything, and I mean everything, you do in Fable TLC affects your morality alignment; quests, games, murdering an entire town, clothing, even food. For instance eating tofu gives you "good" points whereas eating crunchy chicks (whole baby chickens) awards you with pure evil. I should also mention that clothing/armour only affects you when you are wearing it. This means if you want to know your true alignment (every piece of clothing has some push on morality) you need to be naked.

A typical bad-boy

How does alignment affect my appearance? It determines your hair colour (bleh, British spellings), whether or not you can grow hair, your eye colour (glowing red can be attractive to gothic culture) and many other things. Horns, those will appear if you are very evil. So will flies. As will red smoke. Least you learn the vulgar thrust expression. Haha so funny.

The completely good heroes have blond hair and sport a halo above their heads. They also grow blond beards (score!) and have butterflies follow them (um yeah...). Plus they are radiant with glowing light and deep blue eyes. If you are in between the extremes you can have sandy blond hair, dark black hair, light blue eyes, dark eyes, and always pale skin. No one tans in the world of Albian.

Aight so you understand that alignment has a strong presence for your character's appearance personally. Fortunately it does nothing for your quests. You can do all the quests in the game whether you're evil, good, or in between. That is a nice feature, means you won't miss anything. However, quests can have different outcomes (even the big major ones) therefore choose wisely dear audience. Or just make multiple characters, that works too.

Besides looks in the game (hey some of us are vain), you can customize your experience greatly. There are many side quests which can aid you at later stages of the game or just gift you with interesting weapons and outfits. For instance there are these things called silver keys. In Fable TLC there are thirty in total scattered throughout Albian. You can use the keys to open silver chests which have a designated number on them; if it says 15 you need fifteen keys to unlock it. Don't worry, you don't lose your keys after opening a chest. That would be a major pain.

Somehow I am born from something.

Another interesting side factor is the appearance of Demon Doors. These dudes are magic doors which take the form of old bearded men who want you to do something for them. This can be anything from giving them a rose to sacrificing all your silver keys. It's rather mixed. Regardless, you will be rewarded once you've opened the door with some sort of treasure. Often it's a weapon with magical properties. The Cutlass Bluetane is one of my favourites.

Hmm, speaking of favourite weapons, I might as well mention Skorm's Bow. This baby is the greatest and coolest looking bow in the game. Seriously, it is badass. However, acquiring the bow is not easy. In fact, it is a total bitch to earn. There is a temple in Darkwood called Chapel of Skorm. Skorm is the god of evil while Avo is the god of good. Yeah, super complicated.

I am a bitch to get!

Anyways, at the Chapel of Skorm you can make sacrifices in order to earn more evil points. What you sacrifice is followers, human followers. Depending on your alignment (the more good you are the more evil points you earn since they want you to be evil) and the time of day (I swear by midnight, it's the only time that works), you have a chance to be rewarded with Skorm's Bow. As a straight up fact you must earn more than 500 evil points from a sacrifice. This almost never happens in the first try and in fact, ends up with you hiring swordhands in order to make multiple sacrifices until you have the fucking bow. It's frustrating always but so so SO worth it. Guess what's not frustrating? Having your hero look 24 by the end of the game when he's totally maxed out with experience.

As many of you have picked up on, one aspect I really adore about this game is the fact that you can make a really hot character and force him to run around shirtless in the snow. Yup, great detail right there. As I was starting to say at the end of the last paragraph, I know of a way to make your hero be forever young. See experience, though it makes you stronger, also ages you. Your maximum age is 65, therefore once you've maxed everything out, then you are an overpowered retiree. This is fine if you don't care that no one else ages in the game. I care. Also I want Maleficus to be hot, always. So I use a minor glitch in the game to get what I want.

Near the end of the game, not at the end but near it, a quest card will appear at the guild for Knothole Glade/Witchwood. Basically the chief's son has been kidnapped and you need to go rescue him from bandits by travelling through Witchwood. This is good. See the Chapel of Skorm might be in Darkwood but the Temple of Avo is in Witchwood. At the Temple of Avo you sacrifice money (there's another glitch to avoid actually giving all your funds) in order to become more enlightened with being good. Horray. Well the first thing you earn from a large donation is the Sentinus, the "good" weapon which is a club with spikes all over it. Horray again. After that little gift though, you have the opportunity to earn some years of youth. This is what you want. So you give money (though not really) and earn a few years off your age.

See, 24 is better

Now here is where the glitch happens; teleport out of Witchwood to the Hero's Guild (it doesn't matter where you go but the guild is a nice known landmark). The game will ask if you want to abandon your quest, say yes. So now you are back at the Hero's Guild with all your experience you've earned as well as those youth points. However, the quest was not completed. Thus you can start the quest again and repeat this youth process til your desired age. I prefer 24 but you can go as low as 18. 24 is better though.

I suppose I should mention some actual gameplay and a few of the enemies, I just really don't want to give anything major away. Hmm, alright then, balverines and the undead. The other enemies, like hobbes, you'll just have to experience hands on. By the way, my late fish Maxley was named after a very famous hobbe. Just saying. Right then, puppy time!

He's hacking and whacking and slashing. Hack, whack, cutting that meat. 

Again wrong game. My favourite part about these creatures are the scars they leave. I purposely make Maleficus take damage around them in Darkwood just to have this. Perfect. Right, I'll stop drooling and we'll move on.

So cuddly <3

The balverines of Fable TLC are the werewolfs who never change back into human beings; aight at first if someone is bitten they can control the transformations but over time they succumb to the wolfy appetite of humans and other weak creatures. They are a central part of the game (they even dominate their own quest) and are adorable. I honestly think they are just the cutest things.
In Witchwood I kept hitting the stones in the order of S-H-I-T just to hear Maleficus swear and summon a small pack of adorable balverines to come out and play. They aren't too difficult of an enemy. Just equip a weapon with a silver augmentation (oh yes, these are magical stone badges you can add to weapons) and hack away.

Purposeful damage muwhaha

Quick Tip: Augmentations are permanent, you cannot remove them after attaching them to a weapon. Also, weapons only have a certain amount of augmentation slots depending on the level of weapon. Choose wisely.

Ah. The zombies of the game, the undead. These lovely gents, they are all male zombies for some reason, enjoy groaning and slashing at your boots as they rise from the earth. Once slain, they scream into a green puff of smoke before even more pop up to take their place.

Hello there darlings

They are the ultimate experience enemy. There are a few quests (pst, they involve a prison and a graveyard) which have unlimited respawn on the undead. This means you can kill them as much as you want for as long as you want to boost that experience. Add a few potions of strength, skill, and will into the mix and you've got a jacked out hero.

Quick Tip: Even if you don't want to be a mage, a most useful spell is Physical Shield since damage is switched from your health to your mana. If you take hits from your health you not only risk dying, but you also stop your combat multiplier (you'll find out, trust me) from, well multiplying.

Wow I've talked a lot about this game, without spoiling anything major yet either! Score!! There are just two last things, or should I say people I do want to bring up though. Wait, only two?! Alright, let's see. I chose Whisper and Scythe. We'll discuss Whisper first.

"Ello dar farmboy"

Dear sweet silver medalist Whisper. You are a difficult character for me to describe because I have mixed feelings on you. She is, for the most part, annoying, and like all characters (except for the coolest dude in the world) you have the option to kill her if she annoys you too much. I did kill Whisper once, and to be honest I regretted it. She is your first friend and perhaps your only true friend in the game. I mean everyone else is kind of aloof in a professional way or tries to piss you off by calling you a weakling constantly; Thunder, Briar Rose, you two wouldn't know anything about that kind of hero would you? Anyways Whisper is the other apprentice hero you meet early on in the game. In fact, you have to train with her in order to learn the basics. After graduation the two of you compete in quests and even (drum roll) the "arena-rr".

"Did you see th-at? I sawr it. The -eros of the arena-rr are trying ta kill eacho-der."

Heh heh, that's what all the NPCs in the game sound like, according to me. Yes, you and Whisper go along the path of hero-hood together for a while. She is irritating at times (the name farmboy could be retired darling Whisper) but she does have to deal with Thunder. He's her brother and a major pain in the ass for everyone in Albian. He's a giant and decent fighter, but ultimately he's an arrogant pain in the ass. Now for someone not so pain-in-the-assy.

Sycthe! Just again for kicks, SCYTHE! Dude you are the most bad-ass NPC of all time. Seriously, being a decaying hero who cannot be killed since he is technically immortal (yet looks like a mummy) after having entered the Void in order to defeat the Court (minus Jack of Blades since he fled the battle only to return now) and save Albian thus becoming the first Archon!! Plus, dat voice is freakin' amazing.

Sycthe is someone you briefly see in the beginning of the game and then finally meet near the end. He is, as the description above gleefully entails, fucking bad-ass. He is the original hero of the world and the only one to travel in the Void and survive (thus the Archon title). Although you aren't able to do much with him, he is the only character you cannot kill and you can always talk to him. On top of everything, he treats you with respect from the beginning; none of the others do this (Guild Master saying that Maleficus doesn't look like hero material psh) so that's major brownie points. Honestly, play the game and see why Sycthe is awesome. Maze might have beat him out if it weren't for, well circumstances.

So. Have I convinced you to play this game? If there are any doubts to those of you who love men then may I remind you that you alone have the power to craft a hot at as hell hero to your liking. For those of you who love women I'll say that you can own a bordello and sleep with as many nearly nude whores as you like who will praise you for your sexual talents. I might have forgotten to mention the bordello earlier, just slipped my mind.

Rawr. I am Jack of Blades and am a cool yet douchey villain for the shit I do to you. Rawr.

Until next time dear audience.

Oh yes, here's some music.

P.S. I fucking kept my promise. I did it. Hahahaha. Yes! Go ME! Oh, and want to know why May 2nd was the deadline? Cause I turn 22 that day. That's why! Mainly cause I can remember that date. In any case, HA again. I did it!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S.S. I can't believe I used British spellings. Cough cough, bleh.

Skyrim, how to be a thief and not die in every dungeon

I'd like to say that this video is random and has nothing to do with anything. I was just REALLY bored.

Loading up the big guns now audience. It is time for the massive RPG known as Skyrim, the fifth Elder Scrolls installment. Some of you (all of you who are Elder Scrolls fans) should be familiar with the titles of Morrowind and Oblivion as these two games are the predecessors of Skyrim. Why I brought them up was to give all of you fellow Elder Scrolls fans a chance to skip down to the bullet points since this next paragraph is going to give a brief overview of what the hell Elder Scrolls is...or is it are? In any case feel free to skip, I promise your monitor will not detonate.

Aighty aight, let's begin with the overview of Elder Scrolls in general. The Elder Scrolls series follows the fictional world of Tamriel which finds itself in various wars, political uprisings, at the mercy of daedra lords (basically demi-gods who cause trouble but give stellar weapons and armor) and even betwixt guild rivalries. Essentially this world is a magical version of our own which is set in a medieval-ish era. Areas that enhance the series include the race differences (both visual and spiritual) and prejudices which contribute undoubtedly to the various wars. Personally the Imperials can go fuck themselves a thousand times over for the amount of annoying shit they do throughout Tamriel. Imperial scum eh? Die die die die die!

Nothing like slaughtering the guards in the Imperial City to make a thief feel badass. Unfortunately that takes place in Oblivion not Skyrim since Oblivion is set in Cyrodiil and Skyrim is set in, well Skyrim. Oh yeah, my whole point of bringing up the Imperial douchers was to give insight into what the hell is going on in Skyrim. There are two "main" quests of sorts that occur in the cold Nordic land of Skyrim; the first is the civil war between Ulfric Stormcloak (rebels) and the Imperial Army who have invaded and swayed many of the Jarls (similar to noblemen or dukes who rule over a region) to stand against Ulfric as they push their own government onto the Nords. Yeah, sounds like the story of every country who's ever taken over any other land. Basically I'm for the Nords since they are badass and live in cold ass conditions and the rude-as-all-hell Imperials are with the Thalmor "biggest pricks in the history of Tamriel" Embassy. Heh, I'm a prejudice chick with a sailor's mouth.

Here me roar Dragonborn!

The second big story line in Skyrim is the battle against the dragons. After centuries of peace the dragons have started to reappear. This blame can be cast at Oblivion when the oblivion gates were opened all over Cyrodiil which connected the mortal world to the dark and weird as shit Daedra world. Dark magic unleashed equals scary giant dragons appearing. So the dragons are back and you lone prisoner (you start off as a prisoner in essentially every game) are a Dragonborn; you have the ability to befriend and nurture dragons so that dragons and people can coexist in a viking town which was once plagued with dragon fire. Or at least that's what you are hoping for audience. Instead you slay dragons, absorb their souls, and learn various "shouts" in order to take down the species. Little more slaughter little less Hiccup and Toothless.

So that is audience the basic overview of Elder Scrolls (the elder scrolls are a form magical sacred literature which show either past or future when read by moth priests who live in a very secretive order which is hard to infiltrate) and Skyrim. Trust me it was basic. If you seek more info the Elder Scrolls Wiki is fantastic for becoming lost and absorbed in for hours. Time for bullets!

The Bullets are Here!!! Right Here!!! 
Lez go:

• You are a prisoner bound by hand on your merry to be executed by Imperials Douchers.
• There are different types of Standing Stones which when chosen will aid your progress
• The three main choices of hero are Mage, Warrior, and Thief. Guess which one we'll talk about?
• Riften is the city of thieves where the Thieves' Guild is located
• Archery skills are your best friends
• Fuck Dwemer caverns, they are scary. 
• Money is important at first though quickly diminishes into being a second thought once you are above level twenty-five
• Brynjolf, you are the hottest NPC in all of Skyrim.
• Nocturnal is a pretty sweet Daedra to worship.

Alright let's start near the beginning of the game (as always I spoil shit along the way so be warned) where you decide which standing stone to be blessed with. You've chosen wisely for you have not chosen the snake (that stone is way the fuck in the middle of nowhere anyhow) and have decided upon the thief. VERY good choice. Thievery is fun in some of the best ways.

You now will level up thief skills far faster than any others. Such skills include archery, sneak, pickpocket, and lock-picking. Now I suggest you level up to at least level ten until you join the thieve's guild. Why you ask? Well dear audience you suck ass in the beginning with low as shit skills. Try the first mission and get killed if you are much lower than level ten. In fact you probably won't even be able to get into the guild. You need to prove yourself as a thief, Brynjolf doesn't take just any loser. Too risky.

Thirsty so thirsty for Brynjolf

Brynjolf, there's a name to make you shiver in the best ways. Brynjolf is a high ranking thief whom you can meet near the market place of Riften. He asks you a few questions and gives you and opportunity to join the guild. Make sure you have some good sneak skills because you'll have to steal from a stronghold box in public. It's not too bad but again near the beginning everything is more difficult. 

Of all the thief skills the most important to level up are Sneak and Archery, not Lock-picking. Let's be honest, the first node in that skill tree is all that is "required" for a very very long time. Lock picks are very abundant as are arrows in Skyrim so even if you break fifty on one lock it's not a big deal. With pick-pocketing it is useful to level up but do so later. Sneak and Archery are great combat skills and in being a thief you need to have excellent combat strategy. Thieves are not strong like warriors and are not adept in defense like mages so strategy and shadows are what need to focused upon the most. When Sneak becomes strong enough your attack damage multiplies like crazy. Master thieves can damage enemies with a fifteen multiplier on their attacks. That's a hell of a lot of damage along with strong archery. Remember, Sneak and Archery. 

Typical Thief Garb

Another skill very necessary for thieving is Alchemy. This skill is useful for everyone and as a thief you can protect yourself well with high Alchemy. Invisible potions exist in Skyrim as do strong healing and stamina potions. Have a high Alchemy level and befriend your local alchemist to benefit from the rewards of potent potions as well as toxic poisons for your arrows.

Speaking of stamina, every time you level up you have a choice between increasing health, magic, or stamina. As a thief stamina is your friend. Archery benefits greatly from how long you can keep your bow drawn to slowing time itself with a large stamina bar at its disposal. Running away is another asset for a thief. It sounds cowardly but unlike the warrior thieves do not take damage well. Keep your stamina strong and from time to time, perhaps every three levels, increase your health as well.

Now, how to survive in dungeons as a thief. So you have your skills set in order, your stamina is decent, and you have plenty of arrows on hand for combat. Let's go into a dungeon/cave!

What you will find in dungeons:

• Most likely draugr, the friendliest zombies in Tamriel. So long as they sleep they won't shout. If they shout, well try running or hiding somewhere. The shouting hurts a lot.
• Possibly Dwemer ruins. These places are freaky as fuck! The Dwarves decided to leave a few toys behind to play with you. They are rough playmates.
• Fuzzy animals and spiders crawl around in caves frequently. Don't underestimate bears, they can be a bitch to kill. Frostbite spiders are more annoying than dangerous. Just shoot and kill with fire.
• At times bandits. Bandits aren't too bad to deal with. They can be large in numbers but are shit when it comes to magic and poison. Take em out one by one to see the others freak out.
• Necromancers appear in caves as well. These guys are annoying. Necromancers are dark mages who perform dark magic such as illusion and conjuration. Quick lil tip, when you kill a necromancer steal the clothes from the body. That way when they resurrect the dead necromancer you can dispatch the real ones rather than wasting arrows on the zombie.
• Vampires. Often found in huts there are some occasions where you will run into these bloodsuckers underground. They hate fire. Don't be too afraid, there is a cure for vampirism so if you're bitten no biggie.
• Last and my favorite, the Falmer. Theses lil cuties are deformed descendants of snow elves who lost their sight to the Dwarves and became twisted under subterranean slavery. Their hearing skills are unmatched and they will kill without mercy. Their armor is pretty rad too.

Those lovely Falmer are creatures you don't want to face right away. Yes they will be weaker but yes they also travel in packs. They live underground after all and you're the invader in their little subterranean paradise of tents and domesticated chaurus. If I were them I'd hiss and kill you too.

Aw, he just wants a hug and some eyes

The point of that previous paragraph was to extend my further love for Falmer. It also was to point out that a Falmer cave (aka a Dwemer ruin since that's where Falmer typically live) is not the best starting point for a thief. Same goes for vampires and necromancers; they are nasty in the beginning and you'll probably spend more time reloading your save file than leveling up. Instead find a bandit or draugr cave; both these species (draugr are not run-of-the-mill zombies) are easy to pick off at low levels and feature simple creatures to overcome. For instance bandit caves often have wild animals who are caged or lounging about. Kill the bears. Kill the tigers. Even (can't believe I'm typing this) kill the wolves. They are all experience points. 

Now how do you find these caves full of darkness to level up in? Well since you start nearish to Whiterun it is good to explore around there. Also ask people in town for quests and attempt any with caves. 

Quick Tip: Fuck the tree of Whiterun quest. Honestly do that quest after level ten because it is bitch with hippies and spriggons galore! Serious fuck that fucking tree and the damn priestess too! 

Exploring is a more adventurous way of leveling up but I suggest you gather a few quests as well. Remember, you are a thief and caves are your friends. Caves are dark. Save often anyways.

Beautiful yet dangerous

The biggest way to survive is to have everything ready before you enter a cave. The list goes as follows: poison, healing potions, arrows, healing spell, plenty of weight available, and lockpicks. 

Poisons won't work on the undead (draugr and vampires) but will hurt anything living with a heartbeat. Bandits are way easier to take down so stock up on basic venoms and poisons such as Frostbite Venom. Potions, I cannot stress enough that you are weak therefore you will die if you cannot heal yourself quickly. These babies are not to be used sparingly; if you are hurt drink up! Just make sure to not waste any once your health bar is full, don't be silly now audience. 

The weight is important since you will be collecting spoils along the way. If you become over encumbered you are fucked over. Sell any useless shit you have such as furs and Bandit clothing to the local merchants. Have room for newer (better) things. Fortunately arrows weigh nothing (same for gold and lockpicks) so stock up on iron arrows as much as you can. Eventually you'll switch to Elven but now you are basic as are your weapons. 

Heal spell is important and can be found at every temple I believe. In case you run out of potions or want to heal after deposing of everyone and not waste potions, the heal spell works nicely. Fortunately mana regenerates automatically over time so the spell can be used again without too much worry. 

Aight you have everything. Time to fight.

Fuck you died...Time to load your latest save file.

HUGE Tip: Save, save, save, save, save, save, save, save, enregistrer, save, save, save, SAVE, save, save. Don't rely on Auto-Save to keep you safe. These caves are fucking huge and you can die in any battle. Save before, save after, and even safe during while running away. Just save a lot.

An actual combat tip: Shooting people is fun. Shooting draugr is fun. Shooting everything with an arrow is fun. Make sure to get a feel for aiming the bow before killing lots of things. Practice on weak enemies in the forests (deer and foxes) and bigger targets in town (cows and horses). Make sure to shoot the chickens though. Damn blabbing fuckers. Seriously though, just become accustomed to the controls and suddenly firing long distance shots isn't so bad. If you level Sneak up high enough you can even assassinate by slicing people with daggers.

Well that's bout all I can tell you. Honestly if I were to go through everything even more you'd be here eternally. Don't worry, this won't be my last Skyrim blog. Obviously there is more to discuss besides how not to die as a thief.

A quick recap if you like: find shadows to conceal yourself in, use the thief stone to boost the speed of skills, go adventuring prepared, SAVE, practicing shooting on easier targets, take any quest, have fun being sneaky! It doesn't take long to enjoy the game as a darting devious thief of Skyrim. You may want to join the Thieve's Guild in Riften for thief specific quests. You get to meet Brynjolf if you do! Just saying it's awesome. So audience enjoy being a thief, I know I do.

P.S. My bff Kate's father sounds just like Delvin in the Thieve's Guild. Was really uncanny when I met Bob for the first time.

As per usual here is some music. Actually it's an artist I happen to like on Youtube and her version of the Dragonborn Comes from the opening title screen.