Skyrim, the Anti-Hero ways of a Bosmer Mage

It's finally here audience! That's right, my third, and most likely final, post on Skyrim. As promised, this one is themed around those magical folk in robes, the mages. There is a slight change, however.

In my last Skyrim post which featured Thor, my warrior, I promised a blog on Loki my dark elf mage...how to put this...Loki is dead...well, deleted. Senor Horny accidentally erased him many eons ago...Senor Horny the Argonian, who has as the most amount of horns possible, is something my brother created...even though I'm the one who accidentally deleted Loki...so yeah, no more Loki. Instead, I give you my Bosmer, wood elf/feykrosefahliil, mage who does what he wants, Mal-Zeno.

Oh, one more thing before we venture forth. That bold italicized green text above, that's the dragon speak, or tinvaaksedovah or dovah tinvaak or dovah thu'um or thu'umsedovah; the wording all really depends on how formal or casual you want to be. The dragon tongue is here for two reasons; first, I'm somehow more in love with Skyrim than before and this is my way of showing it. Second, zu'u dreh fos zu'u laan. Here is the hyperlink to the translator for any curious minds. Aight, let's go!

So you decided to be a mage eh? Will you be sneaky and hide behind mind tricks? Will you be bold and blast your enemies to pieces? Will you summon creatures whilst shielding yourself in battle? Only you know what type of mage you are. Regardless, your path will be somewhat challenging dear Dragonborn. You will need a lot of patience when it comes to developing your skills and a large supply of potions. At times it seems as though you are the weakest of the lot. But, then you discover runes, atronachs, enchanted armor, staffs, and the Black Star. You realize that no, you are not the weakest. Instead, you are the most badass of all because you can call upon the forces of Oblivion to destroy your enemies and empower your peers with a flick of the finger. Plus Destruction magic is awesome!!! Shall we bullet dear audience?

• Robes are for Alteration lovers, zero armor rating
• Fortify is your keyword
• Enchanting and alchemy skills, no ifs, ands, or buts.
• Illusion is a worthy perk tree
• All magic schools can be farmed
• Duel casting Destruction, enough said
• Conjuration, difficult but rewarding
• Magicka regeneration, magicka regeneration, magicka regeneration
• Restoration skills, get em
• Black star, get it
• Weapons with soul trap, make em

My, that is a rather bossy bullet list, isn't it? Haha, well I suppose I am here to tell you how to become a successful mage audience. Still, sorry for the bossiness. Now where to begin...hmmm...how about the College of Winterhold? Yes, that seems suitable.

Before we continue, if this is your first time being a mage, it is highly recommended that you choose either the High Elf (Altmer) or Breton race for your character. Both are magic strong races. They will give you an edge.

The College of Winterhold is the infamous mage college in Skyrim. It sits on a very steep cliff in what is left of Winterhold. No doubt, as you play through the first bits of the game, you will hear tales of the "Great Collapse"; it was a "natural" disaster that sacked the city of Winterhold by the Ghost Sea.

Rather cozy school, isn't it?

Somehow, the college remained completely intact. Many NPCs believe that the college is responsible for the disaster. I think a Daedric Prince become pissed off is all. The college would've protected itself due to the archive of knowledge in the massive library. As for the rest of the city, kind of screwed. That's my spin anyhow. You never really learn what happens, adds to the mystery of the event.

Anyhow, the CoW is where you can begin to expand your learnings as a mage. They have master level wizards, except Restoration, that trainer is in the temple in Whiterun, who can teach you spells and level your skills in all types of magic. Ah yes, there are five schools of magic audience; Restoration, Illusion, Conjuration, Alteration, and Destruction. Hmm, lemme bullet those too.

• Restoration, the study of healing and magical defense wards 
• Illusion, the science of the mind which bends others' will to your own. Plus invisibility.
• Conjuration, the skill of Oblivion and the ability to bring forth atronachs and weapons from beyond to assist you in combat
• Alteration, the magic of the physical world that gives its user the ability to morph ore and to protect with armor spells
• Destruction, KABOOM! You have just been inferno-ed bitch.

Now at the college, you of course have a main questline which, in my opinion, is very strange. I enjoyed it for what it was worth but I definitely prefer the Thieves Guild, Dark Brotherhood and Companion quests. Oh, that's another thing, the Dark Brotherhood. Yes, since Mal-Zeno is a bit of a bad boy, we will be touching upon that path later. 

J'zargo is warmed by your presence

Right, the college has three potential followers for you to use. They are your fellow mage students, J'zargo, Onmund, and Brelyna, and are quite useful. They can accompany you on your quests and provide extra storage space for when your pockets become too full. They do not teach you any magic unfortunately, but they each favor a discipline of Destruction as well as Conjuration. My favorite is J'zargo the Khajiit because his voice and sayings are fantastic. 

In order to gain the trust of your peers, you must do special quests for them. These quests only become available after the first main quest in the college is complete. The quests are easy, but Brelyna's quest is hilarious and the most simple to complete. Seriously, you have to check that one out.

Before we attack magic training, I think I should explain a few bullets. Duel casting, for starters, is when you have the same spell equipped in both hands. Each skill tree in magic has a duel casting perk that causes extra damage or longer duration. Destruction is, in my opinion, the most beneficial since your enemies go KABOOM faster. 

Warning: Master level spells are all duel casting. They are technically the most powerful spells but take the longest to cast. This can be bothersome in a battle since enemies frequently interrupt you via melee attacks. Time or power, your choice audience.

I also mentioned enchanting and alchemy. These two skills are useful for just about everybody, but mages gain a lot from strong fortifying enchantments and potions. Armor can be enchanted to fortify, or enhance, your magicka regeneration to your Destruction damage to your sneaking prowess. Potions do the same but for a duration of time. Creating magicka and health replenishing potions with fortifying effects is an asset to being a mage. Hey, you run out of magicka easily in battle and often need a health boost in between spells. Way of the mage.

Shrine of Azura. Pain in the ass to reach.

Another point is the Black Star and soul trapping in general. All magical weapons require the recharge of soul gems after a while; unfortunately, soul gems can be difficult to obtain and fill in the beginning. The best option is to acquire the Black Star from the Azura's Star quest; this is a corrupted version of the reusable soul gem, Azura's Star, that absorbs black souls. Black souls charge as grand souls and come from any human enemy, think bandits and necromancers. Find a weapon that can trap souls, often they are daggers looted from crypts, destroy it, and forge a soul trapping bow. Just shoot a bandit, Black Star is filled. Easy and affordable.

Moving onto leveling/using your disciplines of magic. Now, I did warn you that being mage takes patience audience. It does. A lot of it. You will have to farm some, if not all, of these abilities. Fortunately, the farming ways level everything up in a timely manner, except Alteration. Alteration is a bitch.

Quick Tip: Although your mage may be "focused" on certain schools of magic, having strong Illusion, Restoration and Alteration is advantageous for every kind of wizard. All three have useful perks; Quiet Casting for stealthy spells, faster magicka regeneration with Recovery, and better magicka defense via Magic Resistance respectfully. 

Various tomes of the schools

Leveling up your magic skills! I say we start with Alteration since it is the bitch of the group, allows us to move on to the easy stuff. 

Right-o, in general, when farming magic schools, you want to use low level spells repeatedly. This allows the skill to build up continuously without depleting large amounts of magicka. However, Alteration is not that easy; one of the schools has to be the thorn on the rose. The best way I've leveled Alteration is through trainers and the spell Transmute, the Midas themed spell. Transmute is useful for your finances since it makes gold out of iron ore; you can acquire the spell tome after completing the Treva's Tower quest in the Rift. Seriously, how can anyone deny that spell? Trainers, think CoW services, do cost money but they can be used up to five times per level; use them each level to maximize your leveling process overall, if you have the coin that is. 

Other options include Magelight, a low level spell that can be farmed though it takes time. In the beginning, Magelight provides decent leveling but this plateaus rather quickly. You can use the various "flesh" spells, they give you magical armor, however, they only help to level you in battle, in other words when you're being hurt. The best use of the Ironflesh/Oakflesh/Ebonyflesh spells is to purposely damage yourself, with little to no armor, while recasting them every so often; fires, spike traps, or the winds of The Throat of the World will do the trick. In fact, if you're patient enough, you can level Restoration at the same time.

Quick Tip: You will probably use the Mage Stone, mage skills increase 20% faster, throughout the game. Although, it should be noted that the Lord and Apprentice Standing Stones are catered more to those with magic defense skills. Lord Stone, gives extra armor rating and protection against magic. Apprentice Stone, greatly increases magicka regeneration at the cost of making you more susceptible to magicka damage. Both are located near Markarth. If you are a strong Alteration user, consider switching stones. 

Break out the robes!

Restoration, how I love and loath you. Being the school of healing, Restoration has a large advantage in and out of battle. In fact, one of my favorite perks is available in this tree, Respite; all Restoration spells heal both health and stamina, so sweet! Leveling Restoration can be tricky since you need to be injured for the spells to heal you. You can organically do so by healing yourself in and out of battle and using wards to protect yourself from magical attacks. Or you can farm the skill by purposely injuring yourself. As previously stated, this goes well with Alteration farming. Start off with the basic Healing spell and work up to higher level tomes, such as Close Wounds. Learned Restoration guarantees another day of adventuring. Healing your allies doesn't hurt either. So puny!

Warning: The spells I suggest to you do in fact level your character. You are free to experiment but know that not all spells level the magical schools. Some, such as Clairvoyance, Detect Life, and Telekinesis are just for show. 

Ahem, let's focus now upon Destruction magic. Ah, this is my second favorite school. I mean, fire balls, ice spikes, and lightning all at your fingertips. Plus, magical runes! Runes are traps that damage enemies when walked upon. Don't worry, you can't trigger your own runes audiences. The use of runes is more of a sneaky way of magic, great for those who hide in the shadows and watch their enemies be set ablaze. They are also a good way to level organically because man, does Destruction take awhile to become effective! I highly recommend sticking to one type of Destruction in the perk tree while you level your skills; this ensures one strong element that can kill enemies efficiently rather than an array of spells that don't do much but use up magicka. Fire is the beginner element for two reasons; firstly, it sets your enemies on fire dealing extra damage. Secondly, most creatures in Skyrim are frost resistant, think Nords, trolls, Draugr and vampires, but are susceptible to fire. Once you've perked your way up the fire limb, you can move on to strengthening ice and shock damage. The higher level Destruction spells are quite amazing and fun to use audience. It's a very rewarding type of magic. 

Right, leveling Destruction effectively. Became a bit carried away there didn't I? Personally I just conjured up an atronach and killed it with firebolts or ice spikes. Leveled my Destruction right up. Seriously, like within forty minutes level 100. Speaking of atronachs...

Conjuration! It is the summoning school and somewhat forbidden arts since it draws power from the Daedra world of Oblivion. The best way to level this discipline is not by conjuring. Yeah, you heard me right. You could sit back, bring forth the fire atronach from the depths of Oblivion, and watch it fight until you need to summon it again. Merely conjuring the atronach does nothing for your level unless you're in battle. Summon, hide, watch, repeat. Or, you can cast Soul Trap on a dead chicken. Yes, you can Soul Trap a dead body repeatedly until you are at level 100. It doesn't take as long as you might think and yes, I used a chicken. The college didn't seem to mind one bit.

That brings us to Illusion, the last, easiest, and my favorite school of magic. What can I say? I love becoming invisible! Yes, now Illusion has a spell called Muffle which doesn't use up too much magic but levels like crazy. Seriously, the first fifty levels can be gained one after the other in no time at all; Muffle, level thirty, Muffle Muffle, level thirty-one, and so on. In under half an hour, I had Illusion maxed out. I even made the skill legendary and leveled it back to 100, while running around Whiterun, just for perksies. It's the school that you give the most and gives back the most. Invisibility, all thanks to Muffle, seriously awesome! Plus, Calm, Fear, and other mind bending spells. Still, invisible. 

That is how to level your mage skills in a nice orderly summary. Ha, let us discuss what you can do with some of these skills, namely Illusion since it is often overlooked. Mind control gives you an advantage over your enemies both in and out of battle. Being unseen is not only fun for pick-pocketing NPCs, but is great for stabbing them in the back before looting their bodies. Oh yes, it's become dark in here audience. Dark Brotherhood dark.

The Black Door, security system included.

Though I am an all-around mage as Mal-Zeno, I enjoy being sneaky and stealthy so much audience that I couldn't resist making my Bosmer an assassin too. The Dark Brotherhood is the "guild" of assassins, headquartered near Falkreath in a sanctuary, that assigns my second favorite questline in Skyrim; Theives Guild is always number one. It also has the most annoying character in Skyrim, Cicero. 

In order to join the Dark Brotherhood, you must kill the proprietor of the orphanage in Riften. After, of course, receiving the quest from a brooding child in Windhelm. Trust me, talk to the guards a bit, they'll tell you bout the little weirdo hiding in his house. Do this and you'll be visited soon, after you nap even.

Now, I'm not going to give away the quests or spoils of the Dark Brotherhood, what fun would that be? I mean, yes, they center around you killing people for money, bit obvious there. But the fantastic details of the main questline are too great to tell you. Audience, experience them for yourself. You shall not be bored. Rather than go into that, let's bring up Cicero again.

Cicero, dear sweet mad annoying as fuck Cicero. He's an assassin dressed as jester, whom you are able to encounter outside of the sanctuary prior to joining; he's often found near a broken carriage in Whiterun going on about his mother. Cicero loves to dance, giggle, talk about killing, discuss madness, and sing, all in a high pitched grating voice. He giggles when you touch him. Again, he giggles. Can you believe I didn't kill him? You have the choice to do so, eventually, but I spared him since I haven't done so before; I always killed him. The only useful thing about him is he is an non-killable follower if you decide to let him live. I still want to punch him in the face constantly. Often I indulge my instincts. He's also useful for Restoration and Destruction training. Hit him with some firebolts and then heal him. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

Enough about Cicero. Let's move onto Solstheim, we have a bit of time left before this post becomes a novel. Solstheim is an island off of Skyrim that is close to Morrowind, the Dunmer/Dark Elf province of Tamriel. It is covered in ash, ice, and only accessible through the DLC Dragonborn. 

Rustically charming with extra ash!

In Windhelm, there is a boat that will take you to Solstheim. Upon arriving in the port of Raven Rock, you realize that Solsthiem is in dire need of your help. There's a douche named Miraak, a dragon priest in fact, wrecking havoc on the island. He's trying to take over by leading a cult and all that. So original of him. You need to stop him, of course. You are the only one who can stop him, yup. Everyone will criticize you while you save their sorry asses, typical. Miraak does ask for an ass whooping, cause, again, he's a douche, so the questline of thwarting him is satisfying. Besides that, there's an issue with the mine, the Daedric Prince Hermaeus Mora is on the prowl, the Skaal people are disappearing, and there's treasure to be found! Seriously, the treasure hunt is so much fun! No digging required either. The other stuff, well they involved an old pickaxe and some black books, I won't spoil the fun of it all. Though careful with the books, the "librarians" are touchy about their collections.

Oh! Solstheim, this mysterious DLC that I will not spoil, has a very useful tool for the discerning mage, the staff enchanter. That's right audience, you can enchant staffs again just like in Oblivion! No spell maker or chameleon powers though, damn. Anyways, if you befriend the local wizard Neloth by finding him a new steward, he allows you to use his staff enchanter. You will need a plain staff, he sells them, a few heart stones, a unique rock that can be mined in Solstheim, and a knowledge of magic. The more spells and experience you have. the stronger the staff can be. I love staffs since they allow you to use magic in battle without spending magicka...oh...allow me to highlight that fact...

Quick Tip: Staffs use soul gem recharge instead of magicka. This allows your magicka to regenerate in battle but still uses your strengths in magic; the higher your skill in Destruction fire spells the stronger the fire staffs. Recharge them like any other enchanted weapon.

Wow. This is a long post. I think I'll finish it with a word about Netches. Harvesting Netch jelly is just plain mean! I mean, c'mon, the Netches just float around and don't harm anyone. In fact, they are so peaceful and cute. Screw you Raven Rock for your cruel ways. Ash Spawn are ten times worse but no one wants to harvest them, oh no, just the peaceful native wildlife instead. Netch lover for life! Solstheim is a strange island with plenty of quests to try and enemies to slaughter, just leave the Netches alone.

Save the whales and the Netches!

And that concludes this post. Yup, it's over. I truly believe that I covered everything to enable a strong start in the magical world. I hope you've enjoyed learning about the path of mage audience, Mal-Zeno style. A special thanks to my father for contributing his ideas to this post; you're the most experienced and best wizard I know Dad. Happy casting and mul lah grah Dovahkiin! 

Skyrim, Being a Bodacious Dragonborn Warrior

So...
Audience! I wrote a lil while ago (let's not count months shall we?) a blog post about Skyrim. The post went over really well since it covered both the basic history of Tamriel as well as tips for being a successful thief in Skyrim. Now this post won't be as informative about Elder Scrolls history; for that information please just click that handy little link above to my previous Skyrim article. It saves both of us so much time.

As the title states, this post is about being a warrior in the land of Skyrim. Being a warrior (by my definition for my three main characters) means doing warrior-like quests and what not. Thor (not original but don't care) my Nord warrior is not involved with the thieves guild or enlisted in the Dark Brotherhood or paid to perform mercenary work or under the control of schmucky Daedra Princes; I'm looking at you Molag Bal. In any case the point is Thor is a good guy. He did accidentally kill one of his rescue assignments once (the guy had his weapon drawn) but the Companions overlooked that minor slip up. Before I go on with details on the silvery Companions and Dawnguard fighters, let's bullet this post!

• Being a warrior has it's difficulties, like magic hurts a lot I mean A LOT
• Armor (armour for some of you) is everything and looks badass
• Healing spells, still necessary
• Shield Brothers
• Running around hacking giants to bits is wonderful
• You can carry a looooooooooooot of stuff
• Sneaking is hard
• Magic is difficult
• Two handed is easy
• Block is simple
• Heavy armor is a breeze
• Smithing is so much fun
• Enchanting becomes your bestie always
• Vilkas and Serana 

There you have it audience. Everything you need to know about being a warrior in Skyrim. Laters, I'm sleepy due to spore. Damn attack hits me every, *yawn*, time...zzz

Wait what? Oops. That would've been a little too short of a post. We have so much more to go over my darlings. So very much.

Let us start with the beginning as a warrior. Like any character you deal with a dragon interrupting your execution and being one of the few survivors of the fiery ordeal. Unlike a thief or mage however, you choose the warrior stone at the standing stone circle outside of Riverwood. The warrior stone enables all skills designated as "warrior" to level up twenty percent faster than all others. This includes Heavy Armor, Two-Handed, Block, One-handed, and Smithing. Although armor and weapon play are important, smithing is far more the nugget of this batch of goodies. Also block sucks to level up without finding a guillotine trap or bandit archer. Seriously it's a shield. Why even have perks?

Essentially what Thor looks like

Back to smithing. Smithing is where you are able to play blacksmith at the local armory. There you have all the tools you need to craft armor, swords, battle-axes, maces, and jewelry. Also bows and arrows but those are thieving weapons; warriors done crossbows. The higher the smithing level the more variety you have on what kinds of armor you want. In fact the smithing perk tree is a bit odd. Rather than have two paths that end in a different "maxed out" trait, this tree ends on the same perk. Can you guess what it is? I'll give you a hint, it has something to do with- naw screw that. Hints are annoying me at the moment. It's Dragon armor. That's right DRAGON armor.

What's that audience? Some of you don't care about dragon armor? As I told my girls at camp (I'm a counselor each year) if they sang anything from Frozen's soundtrack I would mildly tell them to, "GET OUT." Comically of course. Dragons rule and Frozen, well let's leave my opinion about that for another blog. Dragons rule, end of diatribe.

To be honest the dragon armor could have looked far more awesome. There are two sets of it, Dragon Scale (perfectly named for yours truly) and Dragon Bone armor. Bone is stronger but looks so clunky since it's the Heavy Armor of the two. Scale is better but like Glass is ruined by the helmet. Seriously, why do Light Armor helmets always suck? The best looking armor and my personal favorite from both Skyrim and Oblivion is the Daedra armor. It is worth the climb up the skill tree audience. Not only is it black with a glowing red undertone BUT you look like this: 

Open the gates of Oblivion maggots!

Yeah resembling Sauron from the LOTR trilogy is sweet. I have Thor even wielding a mace. I'm not big on the two-handed battle-hammers. 

So you're probably wondering how long it will take to level up smithing? Happily audience not long at all. In fact there are two methods and one involves leveling enchanting as well.

Enchanting is a mage skill but can be leveled quickly and easily alongside the smithing skill. The only issue with enchanting is finding filled soul gems. See enchanting involves the use of "soul capture" which is where you put a spell on a creature or human that steals their soul once they die. There are different sized souls ranging from petty to grand to black. A black soul belongs to a human or vampire or werewolf character. These are technically the no-no souls since they are frequently used by necromancers. Plus they require black soul gems which none of the court wizards keep in stock. However, you can acquire soul gems (even filled ones) early in the game without being a thief or Daedra worshipper. What you need to do is go to the invisible chest in Dawnstar (not Dawnguard but rather the hold in the Pale) owned by a Khajiit merchant. Seriously I'm not making this up. There's a chest and it has stuff in it including soul gems and...just follow the link for details.

Now you have your soul gems and are ready to enchant! Well except you need to know some enchantments and have some things to enchant. Knowing is not difficult. Simply destroy either weapons or clothing that already have an enchantment to learn the power. For instance if you find a fire dagger on a bandit, you can destroy the weapon at an enchanting table (found everywhere there is court wizard and a Jarl Palace) thus forever learning the fire damage enchantment. It's rather useful. You can even destroy your wedding ring. Yeah, I did that and the missus doesn't seem to care. 

About the things to enchant though, that's where smithing comes in. There happens to be a spell called Transmute than can be acquired whenever in the game. Enemies level up with you in most cases involving caves and I happened nab this at level eight so, yeah. It's doable early on. What transmute does is it turns iron ore into silver ore and silver ore into gold ore. Iron ore is plentiful in Skyrim and always available from merchants and blacksmiths. It's cheap too, so so cheap.

"Come to see Balimund perform miracles with steel eh?"

You do need some patience with transmute since it is an Adept level Alteration spell. What this means is it the spell costs a decent amount of magicka and is slow to regenerate unless you've many Alteration perks. Just drink potions or wait an hour to replenish your magicka, it's worth it. What you do once you have several chunks of gold ore is smelt it into ingots. It takes two ore to make one ingot for most materials so stock up! Once you have gold ingots you can smith some jewelry. The most useful item you can make from gold (for enchanting and leveling purposes) is a gold ring. Or should I say two gold rings. One ingot makes two rings. Excellent. By the way, all of this transmuting goes directly to your Alteration tree which increases your overall level. Really it's two birds with one stone in three ways; multitasking inception with Alteration (iron to gold), smithing (ingots to rings), and enchanting (rings to magic rings). You also can sell the rings for a profit. After all the soul gems were free from the chest and the iron ore costs so little. You my warrior loving audience are off to a profitable start.

Quick Tip: The other way to quickly level smithing is by making iron daggers. They are cheap to make and once again you can craft your own ingots. Just remember to sell them less you want to be over encumbered.

About that time I noticed the girl scout was six feet tall and from the late Paleozoic era. Ha, I love that quote. After gaining some "tree-fitty" from the local merchants and cranking up those skill trees, it's time to do some serious questing. Boy are you in for a treat audience. I give you the Companions and Dawnguard. But first my shield brothers. Sorry Serana, you need to wait your turn.

The Companions guild (or group since they are leaderless) is located in Whiterun at the old mead hall Jorrvaskr. It is the reincarnation of the Fighter's Guild from Oblivion with a few minor changes. The arena is missing and now you can become a werewolf.

Warning: Being a werewolf is overpowering and amazing in the earlier levels of the game. However it becomes a weaker form in the later stages, around level thirty seven, and more of a gimmick. 

Personally I enjoy being a werewolf more than a vampire since the form is totally optional. It acts as a power and therefore can only be used once per day. Also it is fun to go around slashing things to bits and howling at the moon. Plus wild wolfs and your shield brothers are able to join you in lupus battles. This is an optional aspect of the Companions which you can deny while being able to finishing the story line. Fear not! I will not spoil anything from that juicy timeline of quests. You'll have to play yourself for those details audience. Rather I'll go in to some of the advantages of the Companions namely the shield brothers and the Ring of Hircine.

Vilkas is my favorite shield brother or companion friend. The reasoning behind this is well, his voice is lovely and he trains Heavy Armor. He mainly is there to act as a follower who helps you on your quests. You can customize his armor (my Vilkas has exceptional Ebony armor) and weapons to make him a better fighter as well as use him to carry some extra items in case you become over encumbered while questing. He comments on various places you go and is useful in a tough battle. Plus he's also a werewolf so there's that companionship. The voice thing is preference and for those of you looking for sassy females might want to team up with Aela; she also trains archery by the by. Teaming up with a trainer is useful for when you are so close to that level up but just don't have the willpower to farm skill trees. Instead you talk to your companion and ask for them to train you until you hit the next level. Then (this is the trick) you ask to share inventory with them and take back all the gold you spent on training. Free training and friendship, what a deal.

Besides that there's not much I can say about the Companions without spoiling quests. Ah, well I can go into werewolves a bit more. As I said earlier being a werewolf is awesome in the beginning of the game but loses it's luster as your enemies level up. If you didn't level up your werewolf in the beginning and now wish to boost that perk tree (oh yes both werewolves and vampire lords have perk trees) there are a few tricks of the trade. The way to climb the wolf bound perk tree is to feed on fresh corpses left by your victims. In other words dead bandits. Earlier I mentioned that "werewolf" is a power. What that means is that you can only change into a werewolf once a day. This is somewhat annoying when you want to level up those perks. How to go around this? Ring of Hircine. Hircine is the Daedric Prince of werewolves and provides this very useful trinket for your wolf bound character. When worn, the ring enables you to turn into a werewolf as many times as you like. The ring is listed under your power section of Magic (odd but it is) and functions very much like your normal werewolf change.

Such a good guy

Remember Thor is a good guy, he doesn't feed on innocents. The loophole is that you don't have to kill your feeding vessels while in your werewolf form. Instead, slaughter a bandit camp as a terrifying force of Daedric armor and change into a werewolf afterwards. You then can feed quite easily on the dead corpses. Once finished have your character wait a few hours in order to exit the werewolf form. Yes this is annoying but the only way to return to your human form is to allow time to pass.

Warning: When going through the Ring of Hircine quest make sure to kill the mercenaries who are seeking Sinding otherwise you will not obtain the curse free ring.

Right-o let's finish up this post with a few details on Dawnguard. Serana, a lovable lady I name dropped earlier, is an ancient vampire lord. She is a central character in the DLC (downloadable content) Dawnguard. The word Dawnguard refers to a fraction of vampire hunters located in the western area of the Rift. They have sworn themselves to destroying the rising vampire lord Harkon who happens to be Serana's bat-shit crazy father. Harkon's goal is to block out the sun and have vampires devour the world under his rule. Obviously you want to stop this. Now dear audience you have a choice; you can either side with Harkon (temporarily) and become a vampire lord, or stay loyal to the Dawnguard. Regardless of your choice you will be able to kick his guano covered butt later on as well as team up with Serana. She is a strong follower who not only shoots ice blasts but also summons dead corpses to fight alongside you. This is nice when you slay a daedra or another vampire. Doesn't feel so great being on the Harkon side now does it blood sucking fiends! No offence Serana. By the way, Thor stayed loyal to Dawnguard.

What is so special about the Dawnguard you ask? I did happen to mention something about warriors using crossbows earlier in this post darlings. Crossbows are tricky to use at first (if you're accustomed to a bow) but pack a huge punch and come with a variety of magical bolts. Without being a part of the Dawnguard you won't learn how to craft crossbows or magical bolts. That sucks for any warrior. Especially when you can have Dwemer styled crossbows that the Dwarven Spheres use. Those robotic bastards are a pain to slaughter. Instead of your blood rusting on their bronze butts, you can annihilate them with exploding bolts of shock. It's rather amusing to watch them burst from electric surges.

I am a creepy nuisance

Crossbows by far are the best perk of the Dawnguard. However, there is one more thing that makes Dawnguard worthwhile. How many of you love dogs? I know I do. And of those of you who have souls and adore canines, how many enjoy the look of the husky breed? It just so happens that the Dawnguard has husky dogs that will fight along side you and warn you of emanate danger while traveling Skyrim. They are cute and vicious which makes them a great addition to any team. Plus they don't count as a human follower so you can have a husky and Vilkas on your team at the same time. The Dawnguard also have armoured trolls to rent. They are cool but a bit fussy. Trolls will leave you after a while because they become bored. The huskys never leave you. They are loyal. Also husky dogs are cuter than those creepy Death Hounds the vampires make. Bleh, ugly creatures.

I'll stop there with Dawnguard since I don't want to spoil any of the quest line. The Harkon thing is something you learn from the trailer so I'm not feeling guilt over that little tidbit. I hope you all download Dawnguard since it is a great addition to the game. I'll go in the Dragonborn DLC on my next (and final) Skyrim blog. That one will follow the adventures of my baddie of a mage Loki. I know the name is not original and I still don't care. Anyhow, that's all from Elder Scrolls for now. Happy gameplay.

P.S. I put the hint to the next post in a different location this time audience.

P.S.S. It's rather obvious too.

And here's some music!

Skyrim, how to be a thief and not die in every dungeon

I'd like to say that this video is random and has nothing to do with anything. I was just REALLY bored.

Loading up the big guns now audience. It is time for the massive RPG known as Skyrim, the fifth Elder Scrolls installment. Some of you (all of you who are Elder Scrolls fans) should be familiar with the titles of Morrowind and Oblivion as these two games are the predecessors of Skyrim. Why I brought them up was to give all of you fellow Elder Scrolls fans a chance to skip down to the bullet points since this next paragraph is going to give a brief overview of what the hell Elder Scrolls is...or is it are? In any case feel free to skip, I promise your monitor will not detonate.

Aighty aight, let's begin with the overview of Elder Scrolls in general. The Elder Scrolls series follows the fictional world of Tamriel which finds itself in various wars, political uprisings, at the mercy of daedra lords (basically demi-gods who cause trouble but give stellar weapons and armor) and even betwixt guild rivalries. Essentially this world is a magical version of our own which is set in a medieval-ish era. Areas that enhance the series include the race differences (both visual and spiritual) and prejudices which contribute undoubtedly to the various wars. Personally the Imperials can go fuck themselves a thousand times over for the amount of annoying shit they do throughout Tamriel. Imperial scum eh? Die die die die die!

Nothing like slaughtering the guards in the Imperial City to make a thief feel badass. Unfortunately that takes place in Oblivion not Skyrim since Oblivion is set in Cyrodiil and Skyrim is set in, well Skyrim. Oh yeah, my whole point of bringing up the Imperial douchers was to give insight into what the hell is going on in Skyrim. There are two "main" quests of sorts that occur in the cold Nordic land of Skyrim; the first is the civil war between Ulfric Stormcloak (rebels) and the Imperial Army who have invaded and swayed many of the Jarls (similar to noblemen or dukes who rule over a region) to stand against Ulfric as they push their own government onto the Nords. Yeah, sounds like the story of every country who's ever taken over any other land. Basically I'm for the Nords since they are badass and live in cold ass conditions and the rude-as-all-hell Imperials are with the Thalmor "biggest pricks in the history of Tamriel" Embassy. Heh, I'm a prejudice chick with a sailor's mouth.

Here me roar Dragonborn!

The second big story line in Skyrim is the battle against the dragons. After centuries of peace the dragons have started to reappear. This blame can be cast at Oblivion when the oblivion gates were opened all over Cyrodiil which connected the mortal world to the dark and weird as shit Daedra world. Dark magic unleashed equals scary giant dragons appearing. So the dragons are back and you lone prisoner (you start off as a prisoner in essentially every game) are a Dragonborn; you have the ability to befriend and nurture dragons so that dragons and people can coexist in a viking town which was once plagued with dragon fire. Or at least that's what you are hoping for audience. Instead you slay dragons, absorb their souls, and learn various "shouts" in order to take down the species. Little more slaughter little less Hiccup and Toothless.

So that is audience the basic overview of Elder Scrolls (the elder scrolls are a form magical sacred literature which show either past or future when read by moth priests who live in a very secretive order which is hard to infiltrate) and Skyrim. Trust me it was basic. If you seek more info the Elder Scrolls Wiki is fantastic for becoming lost and absorbed in for hours. Time for bullets!

The Bullets are Here!!! Right Here!!! 
Lez go:

• You are a prisoner bound by hand on your merry to be executed by Imperials Douchers.
• There are different types of Standing Stones which when chosen will aid your progress
• The three main choices of hero are Mage, Warrior, and Thief. Guess which one we'll talk about?
• Riften is the city of thieves where the Thieves' Guild is located
• Archery skills are your best friends
• Fuck Dwemer caverns, they are scary. 
• Money is important at first though quickly diminishes into being a second thought once you are above level twenty-five
• Brynjolf, you are the hottest NPC in all of Skyrim.
• Nocturnal is a pretty sweet Daedra to worship.

Alright let's start near the beginning of the game (as always I spoil shit along the way so be warned) where you decide which standing stone to be blessed with. You've chosen wisely for you have not chosen the snake (that stone is way the fuck in the middle of nowhere anyhow) and have decided upon the thief. VERY good choice. Thievery is fun in some of the best ways.

You now will level up thief skills far faster than any others. Such skills include archery, sneak, pickpocket, and lock-picking. Now I suggest you level up to at least level ten until you join the thieve's guild. Why you ask? Well dear audience you suck ass in the beginning with low as shit skills. Try the first mission and get killed if you are much lower than level ten. In fact you probably won't even be able to get into the guild. You need to prove yourself as a thief, Brynjolf doesn't take just any loser. Too risky.

Thirsty so thirsty for Brynjolf

Brynjolf, there's a name to make you shiver in the best ways. Brynjolf is a high ranking thief whom you can meet near the market place of Riften. He asks you a few questions and gives you and opportunity to join the guild. Make sure you have some good sneak skills because you'll have to steal from a stronghold box in public. It's not too bad but again near the beginning everything is more difficult. 

Of all the thief skills the most important to level up are Sneak and Archery, not Lock-picking. Let's be honest, the first node in that skill tree is all that is "required" for a very very long time. Lock picks are very abundant as are arrows in Skyrim so even if you break fifty on one lock it's not a big deal. With pick-pocketing it is useful to level up but do so later. Sneak and Archery are great combat skills and in being a thief you need to have excellent combat strategy. Thieves are not strong like warriors and are not adept in defense like mages so strategy and shadows are what need to focused upon the most. When Sneak becomes strong enough your attack damage multiplies like crazy. Master thieves can damage enemies with a fifteen multiplier on their attacks. That's a hell of a lot of damage along with strong archery. Remember, Sneak and Archery. 

Typical Thief Garb

Another skill very necessary for thieving is Alchemy. This skill is useful for everyone and as a thief you can protect yourself well with high Alchemy. Invisible potions exist in Skyrim as do strong healing and stamina potions. Have a high Alchemy level and befriend your local alchemist to benefit from the rewards of potent potions as well as toxic poisons for your arrows.

Speaking of stamina, every time you level up you have a choice between increasing health, magic, or stamina. As a thief stamina is your friend. Archery benefits greatly from how long you can keep your bow drawn to slowing time itself with a large stamina bar at its disposal. Running away is another asset for a thief. It sounds cowardly but unlike the warrior thieves do not take damage well. Keep your stamina strong and from time to time, perhaps every three levels, increase your health as well.

Now, how to survive in dungeons as a thief. So you have your skills set in order, your stamina is decent, and you have plenty of arrows on hand for combat. Let's go into a dungeon/cave!

What you will find in dungeons:

• Most likely draugr, the friendliest zombies in Tamriel. So long as they sleep they won't shout. If they shout, well try running or hiding somewhere. The shouting hurts a lot.
• Possibly Dwemer ruins. These places are freaky as fuck! The Dwarves decided to leave a few toys behind to play with you. They are rough playmates.
• Fuzzy animals and spiders crawl around in caves frequently. Don't underestimate bears, they can be a bitch to kill. Frostbite spiders are more annoying than dangerous. Just shoot and kill with fire.
• At times bandits. Bandits aren't too bad to deal with. They can be large in numbers but are shit when it comes to magic and poison. Take em out one by one to see the others freak out.
• Necromancers appear in caves as well. These guys are annoying. Necromancers are dark mages who perform dark magic such as illusion and conjuration. Quick lil tip, when you kill a necromancer steal the clothes from the body. That way when they resurrect the dead necromancer you can dispatch the real ones rather than wasting arrows on the zombie.
• Vampires. Often found in huts there are some occasions where you will run into these bloodsuckers underground. They hate fire. Don't be too afraid, there is a cure for vampirism so if you're bitten no biggie.
• Last and my favorite, the Falmer. Theses lil cuties are deformed descendants of snow elves who lost their sight to the Dwarves and became twisted under subterranean slavery. Their hearing skills are unmatched and they will kill without mercy. Their armor is pretty rad too.

Those lovely Falmer are creatures you don't want to face right away. Yes they will be weaker but yes they also travel in packs. They live underground after all and you're the invader in their little subterranean paradise of tents and domesticated chaurus. If I were them I'd hiss and kill you too.

Aw, he just wants a hug and some eyes

The point of that previous paragraph was to extend my further love for Falmer. It also was to point out that a Falmer cave (aka a Dwemer ruin since that's where Falmer typically live) is not the best starting point for a thief. Same goes for vampires and necromancers; they are nasty in the beginning and you'll probably spend more time reloading your save file than leveling up. Instead find a bandit or draugr cave; both these species (draugr are not run-of-the-mill zombies) are easy to pick off at low levels and feature simple creatures to overcome. For instance bandit caves often have wild animals who are caged or lounging about. Kill the bears. Kill the tigers. Even (can't believe I'm typing this) kill the wolves. They are all experience points. 

Now how do you find these caves full of darkness to level up in? Well since you start nearish to Whiterun it is good to explore around there. Also ask people in town for quests and attempt any with caves. 

Quick Tip: Fuck the tree of Whiterun quest. Honestly do that quest after level ten because it is bitch with hippies and spriggons galore! Serious fuck that fucking tree and the damn priestess too! 

Exploring is a more adventurous way of leveling up but I suggest you gather a few quests as well. Remember, you are a thief and caves are your friends. Caves are dark. Save often anyways.

Beautiful yet dangerous

The biggest way to survive is to have everything ready before you enter a cave. The list goes as follows: poison, healing potions, arrows, healing spell, plenty of weight available, and lockpicks. 

Poisons won't work on the undead (draugr and vampires) but will hurt anything living with a heartbeat. Bandits are way easier to take down so stock up on basic venoms and poisons such as Frostbite Venom. Potions, I cannot stress enough that you are weak therefore you will die if you cannot heal yourself quickly. These babies are not to be used sparingly; if you are hurt drink up! Just make sure to not waste any once your health bar is full, don't be silly now audience. 

The weight is important since you will be collecting spoils along the way. If you become over encumbered you are fucked over. Sell any useless shit you have such as furs and Bandit clothing to the local merchants. Have room for newer (better) things. Fortunately arrows weigh nothing (same for gold and lockpicks) so stock up on iron arrows as much as you can. Eventually you'll switch to Elven but now you are basic as are your weapons. 

Heal spell is important and can be found at every temple I believe. In case you run out of potions or want to heal after deposing of everyone and not waste potions, the heal spell works nicely. Fortunately mana regenerates automatically over time so the spell can be used again without too much worry. 

Aight you have everything. Time to fight.

Fuck you died...Time to load your latest save file.

HUGE Tip: Save, save, save, save, save, save, save, save, enregistrer, save, save, save, SAVE, save, save. Don't rely on Auto-Save to keep you safe. These caves are fucking huge and you can die in any battle. Save before, save after, and even safe during while running away. Just save a lot.

An actual combat tip: Shooting people is fun. Shooting draugr is fun. Shooting everything with an arrow is fun. Make sure to get a feel for aiming the bow before killing lots of things. Practice on weak enemies in the forests (deer and foxes) and bigger targets in town (cows and horses). Make sure to shoot the chickens though. Damn blabbing fuckers. Seriously though, just become accustomed to the controls and suddenly firing long distance shots isn't so bad. If you level Sneak up high enough you can even assassinate by slicing people with daggers.

Well that's bout all I can tell you. Honestly if I were to go through everything even more you'd be here eternally. Don't worry, this won't be my last Skyrim blog. Obviously there is more to discuss besides how not to die as a thief.

A quick recap if you like: find shadows to conceal yourself in, use the thief stone to boost the speed of skills, go adventuring prepared, SAVE, practicing shooting on easier targets, take any quest, have fun being sneaky! It doesn't take long to enjoy the game as a darting devious thief of Skyrim. You may want to join the Thieve's Guild in Riften for thief specific quests. You get to meet Brynjolf if you do! Just saying it's awesome. So audience enjoy being a thief, I know I do.

P.S. My bff Kate's father sounds just like Delvin in the Thieve's Guild. Was really uncanny when I met Bob for the first time.

As per usual here is some music. Actually it's an artist I happen to like on Youtube and her version of the Dragonborn Comes from the opening title screen.