An App, not a true video game

Darling audience hello again. I am currently in the middle of my "hell week" which is the week before final exams. Basically hell week consists of essays, journals, last minute quizzes, and even meeting with another student who corrected a paper of mine. It is all oodles of stressful fun times.

So what am I doing on my video game blog? Taking a break of course. At the moment I'm having to comprise an essay explaining the meaning behind voyeuristic themed films. Don't know about you audience, but that topic is creepy as fuck to me. A break now and then is healthy for my now increasing paranoia about windows. And cameras. And credit cards. And habitual routes. And everyone in the world. Heh, just kidding. I am not actually shutting myself away forever. Though seriously these films are fucked up so creating some space between me and them isn't surprising.

Anyhow, I decided I would write a lil post about an app. I don't have time to review, replay, and really write about a full video game. Therefore, I decided an app would be appropriate. Which app have I chosen? Well, the only one I've ever really become competitive over. Also the only one that plays this weird ass song.

Audience I do hope that some of you know to which app I'm referring. If you don't know it's fine, I'm going to tell you. Just hoping to find some others who've played it. Or still play it. Ya know, just for kicks.

ROBOT UNICORN ATTACK!

This game began, to my knowledge, on Adultswim.com which I believe is only accessible in the States. Obviously you can now loop around that (VPNs are interesting) but still, it was originally only USA. The app is annoying, I won't lie. And I mean REALLY annoying. That weird song I posted above plays on loop while you control a robot unicorn running across the screen. Oh yeah, "app-play".

This app is a basic side-scroller game where your character moves constantly across the screen. It is your job to have your character jump when needed otherwise, you'll die. You also (unique to this game) must blast through stars in order to gain more points for if you don't blast through them, you will die. Basically the entire game is trying to kill you. This is a common theme in app games and video games.

You play as the robot unicorn, always. You are silver with a flowing rainbow mane. You must guide robot unicorn across the map and try to gain the most points possible. This becomes increasingly more difficult because, the more points you gain the faster robot unicorn runs.

Quick Tip: Don't look at your score as you play. This is the easiest way to die in my experience. Just concentrate on the upcoming objects.

There are ways of racking up tons of points. Two nouns: butterflies and stars. The butterflies help guide your unicorn as well since they hover at the beginning of each platform. This is useful because they tell you how high your jump should be. You can either press Z once and hold (this makes a slow arch jump) or press it twice to do a double jump. The butterflies assist you and give you ten points. Well, unless you use the multiplier.

Ah multiplying points. Both stars and butterflies enable this function. If robot unicorn consistently touches butterflies or blasts through stars, a multiplier with appear. Each star has a base worth of 100 points; butterflies have a base worth of 10 points. If you blast through two stars without missing any in between, the second star is worth 200 points. The third will 300, the fourth 400, etc. You have the picture. Same goes for butterflies, however the star multiplier is where the points are at.

Random, dolphins will appear at each 5000 point interval. They squeak and swim across the screen. I have no idea why they do this, they just do.

Now sometimes you will just die. The level layout is random each game and there are times when robot unicorn simply can't make the jump. Don't worry, you have three lives to gain that high score. Though remember, the high score only matters to you. No one else actually cares cause it's a weird little app. It's just not that cool if you score a high score.

UNLESS. Unless you and your friends have a rivalry. This is always interesting. I once had a rivalry with an ex-boyfriend (I'm not always single in life) which ended in me destroying his high score after only ten minutes of playing the game. I also made a wager with him that whomever won would owe the other a movie choice. Out Cold it was that night! Not exactly a terrifying loss on his part, still made the game that much more fun which was a lot more. This game can become boring.

Though this game is simple and at times boring, it can be addictive. After all you want to do well in any game you play. Only achieving sub-par scores sucks on the ego. Fortunately this game only uses two keys (x and z) making the controls very simple. It also is easy to pick up. Remember, I beat my ex after only ten minutes of gameplay; noob level doesn't last long.

Not my best Score

I haven't done my best to convince you of this game audience, after all it is an app. Regardless, I do play this app from time to time because it is simple and cutsy and annoying. It is something I can do without thinking which is nice. We all need to quiet our brains sometimes, Robot Unicorn Attack does that for you. Also you can mute the music now. That's a huge plus.

Happy Apping my audience. Hopefully once school is out I'll write more posts more often about more games I adore. Actual video games. Not apps. Promise <3