Bloody Halloween Special

You all have full right to skip the video. I'm simply apologizing for this being an "early" Halloween post. I wish I fixed my bangs a bit...Anyhow just bypass that bit of youtube-ness for actual scary goodness.

Ok the title of this post is a slight lie. None of the games I'm about to mention include much blood. In fact none of the games are horror games. So sorry audience but that would be a "typical" Halloween themed video game blog. No, these are regular games that are not under the horror genre (sept partially the last one, depends on you view). They do have either a cut-scene or a level that has at one time given me a nightmare though.

Now I'm assuming you guys don't know but my nightmares have given other people nightmares. It's part of the imagination curse, your mind never stops! It honestly sucks most days. Just so you know a few basics audience, my nightmares must have the following requirements:

• The constant fear of death/me about to die
• They reoccur in my dreams
• They are typically dark (as in shading) or are completely washed out. Absent of pretty friendly colors.
• I never forget them
• They always finish/are never interrupted

This short sequence of games feature a few things in life that have terrified me. The interesting thing is they most likely won't terrify you. At least not in the same manner. Again, these are not horror themed games. That wouldn't be fun. If you want to actually play a "scary" title just grab Slender Man, Resident Evil Code Veronica, or Bio Shock and play with the lights out, alone, while wearing headphones. You're sure to shit-yourself then. Alright time for my list of abnormal video game frights. Oh yeah, I'll also include a short summary of the relating nightmare, just for kicks.

The Fifth Nightmare: Zelda Wind Waker

As always I need a Zelda title on my list. I will apologize in advance because one of the other Nightmare titles is another Zelda game. Sorry but that series dominated my childhood. You'll understand later why I included the second one, I simply had to. Back to this title though, Wind Waker? Very unconventional I know but it has perfect reason to be here.

In Wind Waker overly young cartoon Link finds himself in Hyrule castle. Pretty standard for a Zelda game except Hyrule castle is underwater and frozen in time. All the color has been drained from the castle and the enemies lurking have been converted into statues. The music is also eerie, has an echoed soulless feel to it. Needless to say this level is messed up. Of course though it only takes Link solving a Triforce puzzle to restore life to the castle. That part sucks because a crap ton of enemies are now ready to kill you. Thanks King of Red Lions, thanks a lot!

Still what disturbed me out as a kid was everything being frozen in a dead grey. The world was null, life had just stopped and yet Link could move freely. Creepy! After playing this particular level my mind decided to give me a dream that scared my middle schooler dreams for days.

The dream started with me walking my dog Stormy near my home. It was spring, grass was fresh, flowers were budding from leftover piles of frost; seemed like a happy setting. WRONG. Ay I hate it when my mind does this.
The world began to tilt, similar to an attack of vertigo. Everything suddenly slanted to the left. I heard the sound of rushing water, essentially a river. It was then that I noticed all the color was literally draining away. The grass became brittle and all movement stopped. 
I tried to run but tripped over my dog. Stormy had frozen in place as well and wouldn't move. I then felt my leg go numb and began to drag it behind me. The other lost feeling and I once more fell to the ground. My hands turned grey before my eyes as I lay helpless on the frozen grass. The last thing I remember was my throat being squeezed tighter and tighter until, I woke up. Onward to number four!

The Fourth Nightmare: Skyrim

Clearly this one is more recent due to the game being still relatively new (according to my standards) meaning this was an adult terror. Actually upon talking with my friends who play this game and browsing forums online this section of the game is agreed upon to be terrifying. I am of course talking about Dwemer ruins. Background info time!

Dwemer refers to the extinct dwarven race that once thrived in Tamriel as master inventors and innovators. Then they all were mysteriously wiped out: really does suck to be an Elder Scrolls dwarf. However all of their inventions which consisted purely of machines remained behind. This includes spheres, spiders, and automatons that are trained with the sole purpose of killing intruders. Also, each of them is made of a nice tarnished bronze. They click along the floors searching for you and will attack until they break or you become a pile of bloody flesh and bones.

Let's not forget the constant hiss of steam, deadly booby traps, and labyrinths that lead only to dead ends. It's a real hoot when a quest shoves you into a Dwemer mine. I always rush through until the Falmer area. I like Falmer, they somewhat resemble Gollum just without his glowing eyes.

Nightmare time. This one is probably one of the more "tame" nightmares out of the five I'm revealing today. Basically the setting is the Dwemer ruins except they are situated in the sky rather than underground. This means no possible escape, just empty sky below.
I was in the Dwemer ruins looking for my companions. I can't remember who they were just that I was lost. Everything was hazy due to the steam jetting out random pipes. All I could hear was hissing until a loud clang sounded. It echoed down the corridor I was in. I ducked behind a large brass pipe and waited as the noise grew louder and closer.
It then changed, the noise I mean. It became several little clicks instead. The clicks continued past me and disappeared down another corridor. I wait a few moments and then began to run. After maybe four steps I felt a pipe smash into my back. I collapsed to ground and heard clicking again. This time it was hundreds of legs. The last thing I remember is the pulling. All those legs, the clicks, pulling at me everywhere. 

The Third Nightmare: Conker's Bad Fur Day

Another lower graphic game (compared to today's standards) that scared the living shit out of me. Remember most of these happened to a much younger version of Mary. Plus my imagination makes up for graphics, thank you fucked up subconscious for ensuring that my nightmares are in high definition. In any case yes Conker's Bad Fur Day, the mature Rareware game for the N64. This game is mostly hilarious with all the swearing, the sexual content, amazing dialogue, and death to cute objects. To give any of you non-Conker players an idea of how far out this game is from the rest of Rare, one of the bosses is a giant opera singing pile of shit. No joke, google it.

I bet you're asking what could be so terrifying in a raunchy "cutsie" game like this? Zombie squirrels. That's right ZOMBIE squirrels. In my opinion one of the longest (and oddly enough one of my favorite) levels to play in this game involves Conker with a two barrel shotgun trying to escape a mansion filled with zombie squirrels. The only way to kill these suckers is a direct hit to their heads. With a double barrel shotgun...they aren't slow either and the way they kill you is by gnawing at your body. So the point is at a younger age (high school years I believe) I was trying to kill fast moving zombie squirrels with a shitty gun in a long as hell level. Yup, nightmares are born from that. Here we go.

This one I won't go into too much detail (oh yes there's more to this story) due to it being pretty graphic. I've written the full version down elsewhere but again, it's not pleasant to completely recount. In this nightmare I'm a spectator until the very end and is the only one where I scream for it to stop. Still not my worst though. Heh. 
The setting is a prison yard and involves a corrupt guard and a disturbing inmate who enjoys raping his victims while ripping their flesh off. Once the inmate is done he fuses a plastic mask to their faces, melted faces. The guard finds himself trapped in the cell with this maniac inmate and screams for help. Somehow the cell is opened and the guard runs. He sounds the warning alarm but when the other guards appear he sees that they are previous victims of the inmate, other prisoners in fact.
All of them walk like zombies, stumbling forward while their faces drip plastic. 
Suffice to say while being led by the maniac inmate the melting zombie inmates began to eat and rape the guard. The guard screams but his mouth is gagged with the maniac's cock. There's blood and the guard thrashes around as they chew/fuck his body to pieces. I yell for it to stop. I then feel them biting me, I'm the guard unable to yell, only pain and the gnawing of teeth and hands. I try to shout but the maniac just laughs. At that point I finally wake up.

The Second Nightmare: Fable

I hope that you all are going strong and aren't too frightened by any of this. I'm being more honest with you audience and it's all in the Halloween spirit. So Fable is a raunchy game kind of like Conker but on a different level. The sex is hilarious though, I encourage all Fable players to fuck in the first game. Naughty one aren't you? Moving on to scary bits!

There is a cutscene in Fable where you enter an area called "The Grey House". This small plot of land outside of Oakdale once belonged to the prominent Grey family who all mysteriously disappeared except for Lady Grey the allusive mayor of Bowerstone North. Anyways the house is abandoned, the area plays unnerving music, there aren't any enemies; it screams creepy.

Once your hero enters the Grey house a clock chimes and the undead begin to crawl out of the floorboards. That's new! You must kill all of them, who keep appearing, in the house because there's a magical barrier blocking the door. The undead moan, they limp around, they have no flesh; it's scary. Naturally I played this game around the age of twelve and was terrified by this area. I wouldn't go near the Grey house without my father or brother with me in the room. Nightmare time audience.

This one is shorter than the others but still affects me today. I'm just lying in my bed, nothing unusual about that I'm sleeping. Where else would I be? Well I hear the floorboards creak in my room which is odd since the boards aren't old at all. I don't see anything but I can hear something grow closer.
Suddenly I'm not in my bed. Instead I'm in a hallway whose only light is an open door at the end. The floorboards are creaking here as well, the sound almost running at me. I try to run but something grabs my legs. It's cold, so cold and drags me under the floor. I scream and find myself awake in my bed where it all stared.

The Final Nightmare: Zelda Majora's Mask

Told you there'd be another Zelda title. Does this one shock you? It's not a horror game but it definitely is a dark game. Majora's Mask takes place in the world of Termina which features a central village called Clock Town. Link was on a quest to find Navi (don't ask why he'd want to find her) and is ambushed in a mysterious forest outside of Hyrule. The dick who attacked Link/you was Skullkid a lost boy of the woods and his two faerie accomplices Tatl and Tael.

In this game Skullkid is sporting a creepy ass mask known as Majora's Mask. Besides knocking you off your horse (Epona) he decides to steal the ocarina of time as well as Epona. He then "takes care of Epona" after you find him and turns you into a deku scrub. Poor Link, so much shit to happen to the hero of time in one day. After making a deal with the pedophile mask's salesman Link discovers Clock Town and the giant smiling moon above him.

What exactly scared me in this game? Everything I mentioned is unpleasant but it actually was Skullkid's laugh. He has the most macabre laugh I've ever heard in a video game. His scream isn't enjoyable either. Still the laugh is what did it for my dreams as well as the dark forest. Last one audience, are you ready?

This one relates somewhat to the first nightmare, you'll see. I'm in a forest this time, one that never ends. Forests are beautiful but maddening when all alone and I am by myself. There is no wind and there are no animals around. Still I feel as though the forest is watching me.
I walk on and nothing seems to change. It's dark and yet a light seems to follow me, still when I look back there is only a black void. I then hear it, the laughter. It's quiet at first but slowly begins to grow louder. I quicken my pace and the laughter grows.
It's ringing in my ears and I'm running blindly trying to escape its deafening noise. I fall to ground covering my ears. I scream, but cannot hear my own voice. My throat then tightens, two hands around it the laughter stronger than ever. I can't scream, I just feel the hands crushing my throat. Finally I wake up gasping for air. 

How are you audience? Personally I feel alright letting these little personal terrors out into the internet. A common theme to my nightmares is being strangled (explains some of the ophidiophobia) as well as having my flesh gnawed off. Gruesome yes and lacking many typical fears like clowns, knives, guns, fire (childhood fear which I overcame with age), death of loved ones, etc. They do feature being alone, lack of color, and often me running/hiding. Those are normal I guess. 

This was a far more intimate blog than my others and I apologize if that was a bit much for some of you. I hope that you enjoyed my list of random games that featured "scary" parts to them. It's more fun to find something scary or something beautiful in a place when you don't expect to find it. As a comfort, remember all fear is of the mind. Hmmm that's not too comforting seeing as we can't leave our minds. Ah well, you're awake most of your life anyways. Enjoy your Halloween night and beware of the terrors that lurk in your dreams.

Games to play when bored, of everything

Audience hello again. I am really feeling the writing bug right now which I credit to the weather finally dropping Stateside. Just makes me so happy when coats and gloves must be worn outside. Summer I wish you'd just die forever.

Seasons aside this blog post will not be a review of one specific video game but rather a list of five games. Today's topic is as the title states, "Games to play when bored, of everything." We all have those days where no matter what we're bored. I'm not saying video games are the only solution to that (there are millions of other activities) but it is one solution I know a lot about from experience. Here are five video games in no particular order that I recommend playing when you are bored of life. P.S. I tried to vary it up so no, they are not all Zelda titles.

Numbuh Five: Fable The Lost Chapters

Alright most of you have figured out by now that I'm more of an old school gamer than new age player, also I'm definitely as far as it is from a gramer. To me Fable isn't an old game but that's my perspective; I still believe the Gamecube is a new system that's how stuck I am. It's difficult to explain I guess I just haven't "moved on" from that era when the Nintendo Revolution looked hopeful.

In any case Fable TLC is a Microsoft game for either PC or Xbox where you play as a "hero" of Albian. This game was unique for its time since it allowed you to choose what type of hero you wanted to be. The extremes were completely good (with a halo, butterflies, and blonde hair) or maxed out evil (veined horns, flies, and glowing eyes), but you could be somewhere in between if you wanted. I've become very adept at the game so much so that I align my character according to what kind of hair color I want him to have. It's usually between dusty blonde to platinum yellow.

Behold my dreamboat Maleficus

Oh yes, in this version of Fable you can only be male which I personally prefer. It's not fun when you're a female hero who is a bulky giant towering among the normal population (leveling up the "skill" experience tree will cause you to grow taller). Also being a dude in a game  means you care less if you're evil, that's just more fun. Plus fresh scars and tattoos just look better on a dude, least in my eyes.

This game is perfect for boredom because you can dick around so much. If you want to pillage a village go forth (just be a high enough level), if you want to own, operate, and abuse the Darkwood Bordello be my guest, if there's a house you want but some idiot is already living in it simply lure them away from town, slaughter them, and purchase the now vacant property. It's all doable. Let's not forget the sheer number of quests (The White Balverine in Knothole Glade is my favorite) and the great slightly sexy villain, Jack of Blades. If that doesn't sell you then Scythe will, he is hands down the most badass character known to Fable world. Scythe is an undead hero cursed with eternal life. He no longer has a lot of mass to him, mostly just rotting flesh. Trust me though he is fanfuckingtastic! Plus, fun fact, he's the only person you cannot kill in the game. My only gripe about this game is that Reaver isn't in it. Eh, Scythe still wins. Sorry Stephen Fry.

Numbuh Four: Diddy Kong Racing

Here's a major switch up from the Albian world. Diddy Kong Racing was first released on the N64 (my favorite version) and later on the Nintendo DS. It's available through several emulators on the PC as well in case you don't have either system.

Now audience you're probably asking, Mare why the hell would you play a racing game when bored? It's true that this seems like an odd choice but I have good reason to include it on this list. Unlike normal racing game one player modes, Diddy Kong Racing has an adventure story mode. You have an overworld, there are secrets, even a few hidden characters to unlock. Plus this racing game comes with the plane option.

There are three vehicles in Diddy Kong Racing; the car, the hovercraft (it's really not that epic), and the plane. The hovercraft is the biggest piece of shit in the world since the controls are so sensitive on the damn thing. Basically it looks like an inner-tube with a jet on the back. Imagine putting a jet on the back of your inflatable childhood inner-tube. Might be funny to watch as your younger sibling soars into the air during the test trials but it boils down to being a shit vehicle.

Hold up, don't let the hovercraft ruin this game for you. With practice (through adventure mode) you can become boss at the hovercraft. I have which forces my friends to make me play as the hovercraft on most levels since I destroy them otherwise. Heh, bragger over here! Still the plane is so much fun to use and most levels require either the car or the plane.

 Ah yes the racing levels which you unlock in adventure mode are not only colorful but occupy five different themed worlds. You have your dinosaur theme (Hot Top Volcano!), the winter theme, a paradise island, a medieval castle town, and even a futuristic space world. For racing games those themes really can't be beat, except for rainbow road in all MarioKart titles.

I suppose in short this game is great for boredom because it includes different levels, various vehicles, stat oriented characters, and a unique one player mode. Honestly it's great to not have to think about puzzles sometimes and just hit the road, or the water, or the skies. Take your pick they're all there.

Numbuh Three: Skies of Arcadia Legends

Ah, good old Dreamcast may you rest in pieces. The Dreamcast was perhaps the saddest and most amazing system to have ever hit the video game world. It was beyond its time which ultimately caused its downfall due to mechanical flaws and pricing. Still it will always be a revolutionary system with some of the greatest games ever designed and played.

One of those games is Skies of Arcadia. Time to be honest with you audience, I don't own nor do I actively play the Dreamcast system. I'm also personally not a fan of emulators, just me being picky. So how is it that I've played this marvelous game? Well the word "legends" might give it away to some of you. Skies of Arcadia Legends is the Gamecube port of the original Dreamcast game. I do own and love my Gamecube. I was even able to snag a used copy with the case leaflet still inside. Pretty sweet.

So what is Skies of Arcadia? Well in short it's a turn based RPG that takes place in a world of floating islands and sky pirates. That's right, you are able to be a sky pirate (a Blue Rogue) in this game and even have ship battles where you blast other people out of the sky with cannons. MIND BLOWN! There's also magic in this game for all you mana lovers out there. The spells are actually kickin' as are the special moves. Oh those special moves are so great at high levels; they even come with optional cut scenes!

The characters themselves are fascinating especially the villains. My favorite bad guy has to be De Loco. He is this short tempered genius who often passes out after becoming too excited over something. He's just great to laugh at.

Gilder!

For main characters Vyse takes the spotlight with Aika and Fina at his side. That is something with Skies of Arcadia, it's always a threesome since Vyse never makes it clear whom he prefers. Gilder is my personal favorite character because he is a gunslinger pirate (I wonder why I fancy him?) who leads his own crew of Blue Rogues and assists Vyse on his journey.

Why is this game worth playing when you're bored? If flying pirate ships and battles aren't enough to satisfy you I don't know what will in the world. Maybe this?

It's Picollo!

Right, moving on to the next title.

Numbuh Two: Star Wars the Old Republic

Besides Maplestory SWtOR is my choice of MMO. It is a beautiful game, literally visually stunning. I of course chose the dark side and am in fact an evil Sith cyborg with an English accent. I play this game with my brother Pete and my friend Brian but you can play it alone and have a lot of fun. Solo play has the advantage of seeing more of your story mode and developing your companions as well. Plus there aren't the risks of spoilers. Heh, right more about the game.

SWtOR takes place in the Star Wars universe during one strand of the ongoing war between the Empire and the Republic. Random, did you ever notice the Empire seal looks like a snowflake?

Anyways you start off as an apprentice/padawan on the home planet of your alliance. Once you've leveled up enough you can fly out to other planets and kick the crap out of new enemies.

I'm cheap as hell when it comes to online gaming. If there's a demo I'll play it but I'll never hit subscribe to any game out there. Accounts can be hacked and I lose interest in games and won't touch them for months at a time. So if you're like me you can play SWtOR without paying you just will level up slower, have less selection on race, and a few other restrictions that on the whole don't matter. You can play for for free, that's all that matters.

This game is a great relief for boredom because the world is so incredibly massive. The amount of planets and quests is amazing. Plus you can slaughter enemies, upgrade armor, and dance around noobs in your underwear scarring them for life. Ah, good times. Basically it's like Fable where you can mess around with the game, only in Star Wars there are millions of real life people to bother.

It's time for Numbuh One: The Legend of Zelda, Twilight Princess

Ha, I said they all wouldn't be Zelda titles not that I wouldn't have at least one title on the list. Don't worry I promised myself I would only talk about what makes this a great game to play when bored not how it's amazing Zelda game with so many awesome parts! Kay, adjectives aside let's proceed.

So Twilight Princess (has nothing to do with sparkly vampires) is both a Nintendo Gamecube game as well as a Wii game. I of course prefer the Gamecube version since motion control can go screw itself with a rusted pipe.

A large complaint about this game is the vastness of the overworld, primarily the size of Hyrule field. What? Again, WHAT?! I am sick of people dissing on Hyrule field. It helps make the game more enjoyable to play especially in boredom. There are so many secrets in this game, the mother load being the Cave of Ordeals (shiver even as a skilled Zelda player that dungeon is hard). I love exploring the world of Hyrule especially just for fun, not even for a side quest. And besides in this game you don't have to roll on the ground to increase your speed, simply turn into a wolf and sprint!

That's right Link goes all animal in this game. I'm a tad disturbed that this feature makes me more attracted to a fictional character but it does make Link tougher. In fact this game showcases possibly the oldest Link (age 18 so he is legal!) and the strongest as well. Link's tunic bears a chain mail armor, he wears thick leather gauntlets, and has cotton trousers on rather than tights. Let's all just look at the picture of Link. Little more. Just wait. Few more moments. And. And. Annnnd. Ok! Phew we're all good.

So besides staring at Link in all his amazing glory this game is a lot of fun to play and (like the other titles) to dick around in. There is a huge variety of weapons in this game including arrow bombs (hell yes!) and the double claw shot (spider Link, spider Link). You may see where I'm going with this audience. If ever you don't know what to do in the game or you've just completed a temple and want to relax try the Mary tactic of blowing enemies up with bomb arrows while riding Epona or jump wall to wall in various places with the power of two claws. The double hookshot clawshot is my favorite weapon of this game and is only beaten by the Pegasus boots from Link to the Past.

Other dickable parts of the game include the minigames which there are a plenty (the fishing isn't as fun as the Ocarina of Time fishing hole but I blame that on the music). My personal favorite is where you control a giant bird soaring through a cavern and have to burst giant balloons of fruit while avoiding all obstacles. It's pretty fun. There's also Agatha the creepy bug collector who I suspect wants to have half human half fly offspring. She says some pretty weird shit but gives you a lot of rupees when you bring her golden bug specimen for her "fairy ball". She's cute, just uncanny and bipolor.

If that doesn't convince you to pick up this game when bored then probably nothing will. You just don't like to goof off in video games that's all there is to it. Maybe I should throw in that this happens!

Shirtless and still receives service

Putting my life long love of Link aside you should give this game a go, even if you're not bored of life. That does help though, then you can play through the game in a matter of days. It has a huge world to explore, secrets, side quests, minigames, unique weapons, and a wolf form. C'mon, you know you want to play.

Aight audience you have now been bestowed with not only one but five game titles that can save you from boredom. If video games aren't your forte then why the hell are you reading this? I mean I only talk about gaming on this site. Why else would you be here if not to seek more knowledge/viewpoints about video games? I probably just lost a few readers but then again I am writing for the gamer section of my audience. 

Tangents aside I hope you all enjoyed this bit of pixelation. Til next time! 

Super Mario World, SNES Flashback!

Ok due to some complaints about the Diddy Kong theme music on my last post, I've decided to make music optional for the Super Mario World post. If you wish to listen to the game menu theme song scroll down and press the play button. The Diddy Kong post will be changed since it's considered "annoying". Alright, moving on from my little PSA

Super Mario World! Oh this game has so much injected nostalgia for me. Not only was it the game I played co-op with my brother Pete when I was little (I thought I would be), but also the game I still play co-op with him when we are together. It's one of those games where the more you play it, the more you discover. Also it's fun to mess around with the different Yoshi breeds. Hmm, that came off wrong. What I meant to say was it's entertaining to fuck about with colored Yoshis. Ha, I made it worse.


Where to begin with this fantastic game? Well for starters no one actually plays level one first because level two is so much more fun. Also it is a bit confusing on which way to go. Personally I choose right over left because left often causes you to become screwed in a game. Plus just look at this map! Which do you choose, the one on the right or the one on the left? Well the one on the right (level two) has Yoshi in it and the one on the left (level one) has annoying purple dinosaurs and giant bullet bills in it. Plus the number of one up's (extra lives) possible in level two is incredible. I'll often revisit level two (a side note, being able to replay levels is not only crucial to gaining a 100% completion of the game but it's also an awesome perk) just to gain tons of lives for myself.

Quick tip! Notice in the picture of Yoshi's Island that level one is yellow and level two is red? Well red levels mean that there is more than one way of completing the level. This could mean two finish lines, a pair of wings, or a hidden key and keyhole. These levels later on in the game are a bitch but the feeling gained after beating them is pure ecstasy.

Alright let's do an overview of the game. Oh, and let's pretend the bullet points are in fact bullet bills! Humor me ok?

• The main hero of the game is Mario aka player one aka the better character, he just is. Sorry Luigi but you'll always be number two.
• It is the first game to include Yoshi! He can not only eat enemies and give you an extra boost but if you know where to look there are some special Yoshis who have unique powers due to their color.
• The overworld map and soundtrack to this game are both beautiful. The amount of color used puts a smile on anyone's face. Plus the overworld theme and world titles are so cheerful. Cookie Mountain anyone?
• The point of the game is to rescue Princess Toadstool from an all too familiar turtle, Bowser. First Mario must conquer the seven Koopa Kids in order to reach Bowser's hidden lair.
• There is also a secret world that has some of the most ridiculous level names imaginable even in the 90's. So tubular and gnarly duuuude!

Where to go from here? I know, power ups/abilities of both Mario/Luigi and the various Yoshis. If you've ever played a side-scroller Mario title before you know what that thing on the left it, a red mushroom. It's purpose is to "grow" Mario to full size. If Mario touches an enemy he will shrink back into his tiny midget form. This is the first power up you will come across in the game. It's sometimes very annoying, just like the fire flower, since once touched it takes away any other power up you had and applies its own ability. This means if you say have a cape feather power up, touching a mushroom reverts you to having no cape feather. It's bullshit. 

Ah I just mentioned the other two "storable" power ups; fire flower and cape feather. The fire flower does what its name entails, it enables Mario to shoot fireballs at enemies. This is all good so long as your enemies don't possess a metal shell or aren't made of bone. The fireballs will kill most everything else but tend to shoot downward unless you are holding the "up" arrow on the D-pad. This can be limiting depending on the level layout. The cape feather gives Mario the power of flight, sorta. If given a large enough space Mario can run and soar into the air. He then takes his cape and uses it as a type of parachute that sustains him in the air. Hmm I'm not doing that power up justice. Here, if you don't know what I'm talking about check it out below, 

The cape feather is also useful for killing enemies that the fireball cannot. If Mario is standing or falling he can do a cape spin that not only kills enemies but flips shells and turn blocks. It's a useful tactic making the cape feather the most coveted power up in the game. It is only found on flying Koopas (shell-less Koops who wear red and yellow capes), in green "!" blocks, and rarely in regular "?" blocks. Try to have two cape feathers at all times. 

Quick Tip, these three power ups are storable meaning once Mario touches another power up his previous power up is stored in a small box at the top of the screen. If you wish to use this "extra" power up simply press the "select" button and it will fall from the box.

Onto Yoshis and their amazing abilities.

So Yoshi is the adorable green dinosaur and companion of Mario. He and Mario team up in this game since Bowser has not only taken Princess Toadstool but he's captured several of Yoshi's friends in eggs and given them to his Koopa kids. What a dick of a turtle. Fortunately green Yoshi was not held prisoner in a castle but was instead stuffed into an egg which was put into a question block. He's accessible twice in level two on Yoshi's Island so he's not in there for too long. His pals have to wait a lot longer. Especially the little dude in Larry's castle, poor Yoshi egg was there forever! Green Yoshi is not the only Yoshi in the game, oh no there are three other colors of Yoshi available if you are able to find a Star World portal and are willing to beat the difficult levels found in the mystifying place that is Star World! Heh, I like Star World.

So the easiest way to access Star World (in my professional Nintendo gamer opinion) is in the Donut Plains. You can either do it through Donut Plains one (the first level in Donut Plains) after unlocking the green power switch and running up the wall of green "!" blocks to a key and keyhole about midway through the level or through the Donut Plains' Ghost House by flying up to a secret platform in the first room of the ghost house. Both ways work for they both unlock Donut Secret one which is an underwater level. In order to unlock the Star World portal from here it is necessary to complete the level with the key and keyhole. If memory serves you need Mario to have a cape feather power up to access the key, or the keyhole. You need the cape either way. Congratulations, you have found Star World. So now what?

Star World is relatively small and has portals that connect to various areas on the Dinosaur Land map. Honestly it didn't need the third portal, it's rather useless and should've been moved to Chocolate Island but the game designers absolutely wanted a portal in the middle of the lake. Sigh, whatever. So back to Star World it is indeed the home of the special Yoshis; red, yellow, and blue. Before this time green Yoshi would have a special ability depending on what color shell he ingested. If for say he gulped down a red Koopa shell, green Yoshi could release three fireballs that crisp innocent Koopas into coins. Nifty right? Well the special colored Yoshis can eat any shell and will have the ability of their specific Yoshi color rather than the shell's color. Red Yoshi always spits fire, yellow Yoshi stomps the ground causing small tremors to flip enemies, and blue Yoshi (my favorite) grows wings and flies.

Warning, after a certain amount of time Yoshi completely swallows whatever shell he's holding causing his power to vanish until he swallows a new shell. This means if you're flying you'd better have a place to land or you're screwed!

The gameplay is side-scroller style but unlike certain prior Mario games you are able to backtrack through the level so long as it's within the time limit. A cool perk to this is if you hop off Yoshi to climb a vine he will still be there waiting for you so long as you don't go through any doors or pipes. Back in the day that was badass! The biggest challenge of the side-scroller style is finding a landing for yourself after you jump. The screen only moves so fast and when Mario is falling he doesn't have much time til he hits the ground. This is what makes the final SPECIAL (literally that's what they're called) levels so damn difficult. Most of them are composed of fall away platforms meaning you had better have fast reflexes because once you lose a jumping rhythm you are dead. The SPECIAL world is also the secret world I mentioned earlier with the ridiculous level titles. They are as goes; Gnarly, Tubular, Way Cool, Awesome, Groovy, Mondo, Outrageous, and Funky. Welcome to the 90s children, it's "way cool" and "outrageous". Though I'm one to talk, I still actively say and use the words "rad", "trip", "sick", and of course "dude".

Well that seems like a beefy enough blog post. Can you tell that I love this game? Again audience just wait til I have Zelda fever, it's bound to happen soon since November is Zelda Month. For those entries I may just focus on one aspect of whatever Zelda game I'm talking about since you'd otherwise find a post over a hundred pages. Til later audience and may the D-pad be with you.

A special note, in truth I was actually listening to the Final Fantasy XIII title music while writing this blog post. I just had a craving for it, don't judge me!